I'm Glad They Called Me on a Mission!

This past Sunday I had a friend ask me about how I decided to serve a mission. I often ponder on how much my mission has affected me. I grew up with a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but my own personal insecurities hindered my ability to truly allow that testimony to take deep, personal root. I always knew, intellectually, that the principles and doctrines taught in the scriptures and by living prophets were true; however, looking back I think I never really had a deep, down-in-my-heart conversion of certain, necessary truths.

Anyway, in the last couple years I was at BYU my behavior began to deviate from what I knew was right and appropriate. I found myself in a pretty dark place relative to what I was accustomed to growing up; I had been raised in a Celestial home, and I had allowed myself to detour to a terrestrial plane. The darker my own soul became the more I pulled away from my family. My older brother noticed the darkness and distance, and he reached out and pulled me back in. I will always be grateful for my elder brother who wouldn’t let me fall. Following his counsel I sought out the spiritual and temporal help I needed. As I began to heal and overcome my debilitating insecurities, I began making exponential progress back to the light I had once known, and beyond to greater depths of light and conversion that I had not before experienced. I am eternally grateful for my elder Brother Who would not let me fall, an elder Brother Who had the power to heal all my wounds, an elder Brother Who could give me a new heart, and an elder Brother whose love and peace surpassed anything I could or can comprehend.

As I drew closer to the Light and Love of my Heavenly Father I felt prompted to serve a mission. Despite my lack of desire to be a missionary, and my fear of serving in that capacity, I acted on that prompting and began pursuing that course. Taking those steps to serve as a missionary brought the peaceful confirming feelings of the Spirit that this path was right, and that witness gave me the strength for the next couple years to follow through with my decision.

I won’t try to avoid the fact that those eighteen months were extremely difficult and that there were times I felt like giving up, but ultimately those months rooted me in the gospel of Jesus Christ and helped me gain the deep, down-in-my-heart conversion I had lacked. My mission acted as the rebar for the foundation of testimony laid by my parents. Elder Nelson said in October 2012 Conference, “The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come.” Although I have yet to marry and have a family, I know that my mission has changed the course of my life, and therefore has shaped the destiny of my future family. I have experienced, as Malachi declared, the refining fire of the Lord (Malachi 3: 2-3). I have felt the reality of Isaiah’s witness that, “they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40: 31). I have experienced the power of the Savior’s promise when He lovingly instructed, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

And so it began...

My path to a mission was neither expected nor easy, but the effects will be eternal. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that He lives. I know that I am beloved of my Heavenly Father; we are each His children and we are known and loved individually by our God.

And so...

...

...it ends *sniff*